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Updated: 57 min 6 sec ago

Real Products That Exist: A Basic Cell Phone That Doubles As A Fidget Spinner

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 17:30
This is the Chilli K188 cell phone/fidget spinner from India (and available on Amazon India in a variety of colors for around 1,100 rupees, ~$17) It's a super basic cell phone (it can make and receive calls and texts) that doubles as a fidget spinner you can use while you're anxiously awaiting a return text from your crush. SPOILER: It's never coming. "Why not?" Because you own a fidget spinner cell phone. Keep going for a closeup and a video review of the phone while I invent yo-yo and slap bracelet cell phones and become a millionaire overnight. Or try to catch the tooth fairy in a jar using an animal tooth I found as bait.
Categories: Nerd News

Snapchat Releases Halloween Costume Of Its Dancing Hot Dog Filter

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 16:30
Because people will absolutely buy it and think they're the coolest thing since pre-sliced hot dog buns, Snapchat has just released a Halloween costume version of its famous dancing hot dog filter. You can get one on Amazon through Snapchat's parent company Snap Inc. for $80. Everybody will want to take a picture with you -- you'll be the hit of the Halloween party! Oh...wait -- there's six other dancing hot dogs already here. Better luck next year. Keep going for two more shots, including one of the wiener behind the wiener.
Categories: Nerd News

Veterinarian Creates Realistic Pumpkin Carving Of His Pet Pomeranian (Plus Bonus Superheroes)

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 15:30
This is a timelapse video of veterinarian Andy Manoloff creating a photo-realistic pumpkin carving (well, as photo-realistic as a pumpkin carving can be, which isn't very) of his pet Pomeranian, Sophie. He really nailed it. I was going to do the same thing for my dog but my mom yelled at me when she saw me with the knife. Also, based on this man's steady hands and precision with a razor blade, I'd feel 100% confident with him operating on me. "What did you do this time?" I really don't want to talk about it. "Did you reverse swallow a Sharpie?" I don't know what that is. "It's when you stick one too far up your--" Yes, that. I did that again. Keep going for the video, as well as several very impressive superheroes he's carved in previous years.
Categories: Nerd News

Sure, Why Not?: A $100 Gumball Machine That Dispenses Random Permanent Tattoo Designs

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 14:30
This is the Get What You Get gumball machine at Elm Street Tattoos in Dallas, Texas. You just pay a tattoo artist $100, and they'll give you a token to put into the machine. Whatever design comes out they'll permanently ink on you. (If you really don't like the design you can get another token for $20, but there are no refunds). Obviously, this makes the tattoo decision making process much, much easier except I already know what I want and it's a penis with dragonfly wings. Boogie, a shop employee, told the Dallas Observer, "All of these tattoos I would price out between $160 and $180 ... maybe $250." Tattoos will be completed on a first-come, first-served basis. If there's no line, you can get yours right away. If all of the artists are booked, you may have to make an appointment. Interesting. This is perfect for the person who wants a tattoo, but doesn't particularly care what it is. The old 'I don't know, just give me something.' I still remember my first tattoo like it was yesterday. It wasn't yesterday though, it was actually next Friday, I just have a time machine. Keep going for an Instagram video of somebody using the machine.
Categories: Nerd News

$36,000 Houses Made From Shipping Containers

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 13:30
This is an example of one of the shipping container homes built by MODS International and available for purchase on Amazon for around $36,000 (plus ~$4,000 shipping). Each 320-square foot home (twice the size of my current apartment) comes complete with a bedroom, bathroom (with shower, toilet and sink), a kitchenette, living area, dying area (just kidding you can do that anywhere), appliances, and heating and air conditioning. Plus you can presumably ship yourself to a different location if you get tired of where you're living/the cops are closing in. I'm going to buy one then ship myself around the world aboard a cargo ship. Bon voyage! "You're going to die." I'm already dead. Keep going for more shots of the interior and exterior.
Categories: Nerd News

HalloweenSoundboard: A Sweet Website To Make Your Own Halloween Music

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 12:30
Note: This is just a picture, you actually have to go to the website to experiment yourself. This is Halloweensoundboard.com, a Halloween themed soundboard website created by sound designer Matt McCorkle that allows visitors to 'experiment with eerie ambiances, twist music into otherworldly soundscapes, and play sounds reminiscent of horror movies.' I just spent twenty minutes making the perfect Halloween track to play at my party. I especially like the Skeleton song instrumentation. This party is going to be so great! "Nobody is going to show up." Nope, only the corpses I reanimate with black magic. Plus, okay, probably the cops again. Thanks to hairless, who hasn't bobbed for apples since he was five. That's too long! (Unless you just turned six)
Categories: Nerd News

So, We've Come To This: Company Rents Out Grounded Jets So Instagrammers Can Fool Followers About Their Luxurious Lifestyle

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 11:30
Because the world is rapidly coming to an end, Private Jet Studio based in Moscow, Russia will rent Instagrammers a grounded Gulfstream 650 jet with professional photographer for 2 hours for around $244 (~$191 if you bring your own cameraman or just plan on taking selfies) so they can trick their followers into thinking they live some sort of luxurious lifestyle. Granted I'm sure there are legitimate photographers who need shots inside or outside a jet for their own purposes, but if you really are just an Instagrammer renting a grounded to fool your followers, you need to take a long hard look at your life, then start living a completely different one. Keep going for a couple more shots of the possibilities.
Categories: Nerd News

Man Builds Two Story AT-AT Walker In Front Yard For Halloween

Fri, 10/20/2017 - 10:30
These are several shots of the two story AT-AT walker that Parma, Ohio man Nick Myer built in his front yard for Halloween. Some more info while I petition my neighborhood's home owner's association to let me use black magic to revive some real corpses for Halloween (they're sticklers): Obviously, a giant AT-AT walker out in the neighborhood has gained some pretty intense foot traffic and visitors from all over Ohio. Many Star Wars fans have taken to social media to share their pilgrimage to the Hoth land, with some even getting into character, dressing as Imperial Stormtroopers and standing next to the mighty Imperial armored transporter from Episode V. Miraculously, Nick Myer's wife and neighbors fully approve of the AT-AT walker and don't seem to mind all of the attention that the Halloween display is gaining. I think the most hilarious part about this whole thing is how Nick is pretending he did this just for Halloween, like he hasn't dreamed of having a giant AT-AT in his front yard all year round. And can you blame him? It's going to look even better around Christmas when there's snow on the ground. Then Halloween is only another 10 months away so you might as well leave it up. "You haven't taken your Christmas tree down yet, have you, GW?" Not since 2014, no. Keep going for a couple more shots while I speculate if Nick goes the extra mile and hands out full-size candy bars.
Categories: Nerd News

Impressive!: Man's Beer Can Crushing Stomp Dance

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 17:30
"Alright, it is recording now." This is a video of total stud Jim 'The Can Man' Anderson quickly crushing a long line of aluminum cans in front of the Pure Ice Company in Yankton, South Dakota (which looks like a great place to have a few cold one outside with your buddies) with what appears to be some sort of can-stomping dance he's developed. He's as graceful as a ballerina. *laying tux out on bed* Call me if you need a dancing partner, we could make a small fortune in recycling. Keep going for the video while I go practice outside.
Categories: Nerd News

Baby Gets Emotional After Hearing Mother's Voice For The First Time

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 16:30
This is a short and sweet video of a baby hearing her mother's voice for the first time after receiving hearing aids to help combat her bilateral profound congenital hearing loss. It looks and sounds like they both get a little emotional. And, judging from all the sobbing I hear around me, I'm guessing so did everyone in the office I sent this to. You know, I still remember the first time I heard my mothers's voice. She was yelling at me from the bottom of the stairs to clean my room. "That was this morning." I have a bad memory. Keep going for the video.
Categories: Nerd News

Vault Boy Approved: Fallout Inspired Tiki Mugs

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 15:30
These are the Fallout inspired tiki mugs created by Geeki Tiki and available as a four-piece set from ThinkGeek for $60. The set includes a deathclaw, suit of power armor, Vault Boy and Dogmeat (who looks a lot like Scooby-Doo). Still, I'm more than a little disappointed there isn't a Yes Man from Fallout: New Vegas or a super mutant, but what are you gonna do? "Write an angry email." Exactly. So far I've got 'Now listen here you jerks!' Keep going for a couple more shots.
Categories: Nerd News

Guy Falls Off His ATV, It Takes The Opportunity To Throw Itself Off A Cliff

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 14:30
Similar but completely different than this ATV sacrifice, this is a video of a guy riding his ATV on a mountain trail when he loses control and falls off. His ride then takes the opportunity to throw itself off a cliff. No word if it actually made it all the way down to the ocean, but at least in my mind it's living the life it's always dreamed of being a merman now. You do you, ATV. Keep going for the video.
Categories: Nerd News

Oh Wow: Coins Cut Into Really Tiny Jigsaw Puzzles

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 13:30
These are the coin jigsaw puzzles carefully cut and crafted by the folks at Coin Cut Art from real coins. Those are some tiny puzzle pieces! Prices range from $15 - $225 depending on the coin used (you can even send your own), and, just like your ex-boyfriends penis, are probably best handled with tweezers. High-five! Keep going for several more examples.
Categories: Nerd News

So, We've Come To This: A $290 Toilet Plunger

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 12:30
This is the $290 (marked down from $350) American Master Plunger designed and crafted by the Re Made Company of New York City. It unclogs toilets after you try to flush too much toilet paper at once because suicide hot wings. Alternatively, use a regular $4 plunger. The plunger I use I actually bought from the 99¢ store and it works fine. That reminds me -- a friend of mine used to live in a house that had carpet in the downstairs bathroom and one time the toilet backed up and soaked the carpet with shit water and he called me to come over and help remedy the situation, which I did with a gallon of gasoline and a lighter. Keep going for one more shot and a weird video while I speculate why anybody with the money to spend on a $290 plunger would ever plunge their own toilet anyways.
Categories: Nerd News

Artist Chainsaws Tree Stump Into Bucket Pouring Water

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 11:30
This is the tree stump that 42-year old Romanian wood sculptor Gabi Rizea cleverly carved into a bucket pouring water. Or maybe it's pouring paint, I can't really tell. Apparently Gabi was given permission by the local authorities to transform any stumps in local parks into works of art and, amazingly, hasn't sculpted a single penis yet. *shivers* The willpower that must have taken. Keep going for a couple more shots of the process.
Categories: Nerd News

Special Edition 'Fahrenheit 451' Can Only Be Read After Heat Is Applied To The Pages

Thu, 10/19/2017 - 10:30
Seen here demonstrating how to burn your finger with a lighter, this a video of a prototype for a special edition of Ray Bradbury's 'Fahrenheit 451' (about a dystopian future where books are outlawed and 'firemen' burn any discovered) that has entirely black pages until heat is applied, at which point it becomes readable. In this case, heat is applied using a lighter, but I assume you might be able to use a blow dryer instead for a more convenient reading experience. For an even MORE convenient experience? Just read a traditional copy. For the MOST convenient experience? Listen to it book-on-tape style -- you don't even have to open your eyes. Still, this version does seem practical for anyone planning on spending eternal damnation in hell, where it'll always be hot enough to read. Plus you can use the glowing red-hot coal the devil makes you keep in your anus as a book light. Keep going for the video demonstration.
Categories: Nerd News

Smart Thinking: Video Of The World's Worst Furniture Movers In Action

Wed, 10/18/2017 - 17:30
This is a video of a trio of brainiacs (presumably of Smart Guys Moving Co.) trying to lower a chair from the roof of a building into a truck. There appears to be a rope involved, but it looks like the two guys standing in the truck just plan on catching the chair. Things don't work out that well for them, and one guy takes a pretty nasty spill. I'm afraid his moving days may be over. And not just furniture either, I'm talking about his arms and legs. Keep going for the whole video.
Categories: Nerd News

Animation of A Rubber Face Getting Slugged By A Rubber Fist

Wed, 10/18/2017 - 16:30
This is a short animation created by Buenos Aires, Argentina based motion graphics designer Esteban Diacono (links to his Instagram with a lot of other cool animations). It features a rubber bust of a man getting clocked by a rubber fist and forearm. It kind of reminds me of that slow-motion video of people actually getting punched, except with a lot less people regretting their life decisions afterward. I'm not taking a punch to the face for anything less than a thousand dollars. "I'll give you a buck." Deal, but no punching my good side. "What's your good side?" The back of my head. Keep going for the video.
Categories: Nerd News

Damn Mother Nature, Calm Down: Spider Wrapping Up A Toad

Wed, 10/18/2017 - 15:30
Note: Video probably not for the squeamish. Also keep your volume in check, the guys filming go absolutely nuts screaming at the end. This is a short video of a golden silk orb-weaver spider (aka banana spider) wrapping up a toad that foolishly jumped into its web. I'm thinking about writing a horror children's book about it ('Mr. Toad's Last Wild Ride'). Mother Nature: she's a cruel mistress. Of course anybody who would be married to one woman and banging Mother Nature on the side probably deserves whatever happens, which is almost certainly going to be a venomous snake biting your johnson or an anus full of spiders. Keep going for the video.
Categories: Nerd News

Custom PC Case Mod That Looks Like There's A 3-D Anime Girl Dancing Inside

Wed, 10/18/2017 - 14:30
This is a custom PC case mod that has a transparent LCD panel in the side that makes it appear as if Hatsune Miku (a popular "humanoid persona voiced by a singing synthesizer application") is dancing inside. Incredible -- people are building PCs with seemingly holographic girls dancing inside, and I'm just praying my computer doesn't crash writing a Geekologie article. You know what I found the last time I opened my computer case? That I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. Plus I think I left my car keys in there. Keep going for several more shots and a couple videos.
Categories: Nerd News


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